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I still remember how miserable it was when I was still serving my NS during fasting month as a stay out personnel. Having to wake up at 0430hrs to have my pre-dawn meal then straight leave for camp and the first thing I did upon reaching was to change to my PT kit and go for a run. Not very pleasent when it's only 0745hrs and already I'm thirsty. The day will pass by in its slowest and when it came to falling out, there will be people who purposely delay us from going back and I end up breaking my fast on my way back home, in train. Believe me, no one spared a single fucking thought.
Gone were those days. It still makes me angry thinking about it. Angry on how powerless we were, how our voices only turn a deaf ear. I'm lucky enough that my BMT wasn't in the month of Ramadhan.
Thanks to all who did not wish me 'Happy Fasting' or ' Selamat Berpuasa' or 'Selamat Berbuka'. I can't stress enough how fake and so 'primary school' that sounds. When the time comes, don't bother wishing me Selamat Hari Raya with all your 'ku susun sepuluh jari tra la la bullcrap'. It feels so wrong asking for forgiveness just because it's Hari Raye. It can be done on any other normal day, why wait till Hari Raye? I'm cool with everyone, except for a handful who I will not forgive just yet, and I almost sure that everyone is cool with me.
I may be the most bitter but nice person you know.
Fenderson out... I'm screwed. The next poly intake will only be on April 2010. What happened to having 2 intakes in a year? Ain't there suppose to be one on this Sept/Oct?
It's not that I didn't apply during my NS period. I applied thrice and got rejected for all of it. Apparently I chose the wrong course and school. I opted for courses that strictly require a GPA 3 while I have a GPA 2.7. It was my bad on not reading the finelines.
I don't know what to do next. People would say go 'find some work' or 'take up a short course'. Guess they're right. What other choices do I have? I'm 22 and still hopeless.
If I'm gonna be rejected again for the April 2010 intake, I'm gonna kill myself.
Fenderson out... I got a new computer for my room and at this point of time I'm grateful to be a geek. Wireless keyboard and mouse, 32" LCD TV for monitor, connected to the internet wirelessly, view with HD display. The perfect rig that I always wanted. The cost are split between me and my brother and it's still expensive despite of absorbing 50% of the damage.
The perfect ORD present for myself.
With my NSF pay, I bought:
PSP
PS3 (cost split with my brother)
iPod Classic (160GB)
LG 32" LCD TV
Computer (cost split with my brother)
Moving out will be hell.
Thanks to Shakir for all your help and advice.
Fenderson out... Earlier today, we attended a study group conducted by Mr S at the National Library. I shall not reveal anything on what was discussed among the study group. Wouldn't wanna get any party in trouble.
The study group session make me question myself on my own identity. I'm a Malay. Both my parents are Malay. My maternal grandparents are Malay. My paternal grandparents are Javanese. I live in a Malay speaking family. I got a B4 for my O level Malay paper. I beri salam to my fellow Malay friends. I eat with my right hand, wipe my butt with my left. What I'm saying is, I'm still ethnically and culturally correct.
On the contrary, my iPod have not a single Malay song. Most of my send messages are texted in English. I don't watch Suria. I don't tune in to Warna or Ria. I wear baju kurung only on Hari Raya. I rather curse and swear in English. I have no idea who was Yasmin Ahmad. Last of all, I find people who are too Malay are weird. With all these said, the question I'm asking myself is; Does it make me less of a Malay?
Honestly, I don't care. Whatever that don't make me sound or look stupid, I'd go with it. Whatever that make communication go faster and smoother, I'd go with it. Whatever that is more entertaining and more engaging, I'd go with it. I don't feel in anyway this would affect my identity. It's the matter of preferences.
What important is, I'm not trying to be anyone. I don't dye my hair, get fancy phone, buy nice shoes just because everyone else is. My running, swimming, iPod, PS3 are all purely me.
That goes by the saying...
"Wanting To Be Someone Else Is A Waste Of The Person You Are" - Kurt Cobain
Also...
"Takkan Melayu Hilang Di Dunia" - Hang Tuah
And my favourite...
"If You Can't Convince Them, Confuse Them" - Harry S Truman
Hahaha...
Fenderson out...
Oh yeah! My turn came to collect back my pink IC and get my Service Status changed from NSF to NSman. But I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. My plan to start school after a month or two after ORD didn't work out and no, I don't wanna work just yet since I just got off from a hell hole.
My dad once said that ones character would either change for the better or worst after they have been through NS. I compared myself today and 2 years back and honestly don't see much different. I quit smoking after getting tonsillitis though. I wouldn't wanna wait for a cancer to make me quit, so yeah, figured that's the best time stop.
2 years passed in a blink. What changed? I wish I can count what changed while I'm in camp.
All the past aside. So what's am I doing now? Nothing much. I do still wanna pursue my diploma but have to wait till the next intake. So meanwhile, I plan to work out and carry on with my 2B license lessons.
This was received on the 24/06/2009 at 1405hrs.
'hmmmmm... i will say tat if u like her, u shudnt gv up.for now just give it some time. Maybe shes not ready to be committed. Tats why shes taking a stepback'
Forever in debt to your priceless advice.
Fenderson out... Spend a good half an hour glimpsing through some of my previous entry. Couldn't help but fell sad. Sad on how people change and move on without looking back. Sad to know things wouldn't ever be the same again. Sad to know that I was actually happier 3 - 4 years back then today.
Where did all the simplicity gone to?
Fenderson out I was about to write an entry a couple of days earlier before ORD but then decide to change my page template instead and do some cleaning up on the unneccessary stuff.
An hour later, the new blog page is up and I got tired from editing it.
I'll leave the proper blog entry for another day.
Fenderson Out...
Gone were those days. It still makes me angry thinking about it. Angry on how powerless we were, how our voices only turn a deaf ear. I'm lucky enough that my BMT wasn't in the month of Ramadhan.
Thanks to all who did not wish me 'Happy Fasting' or ' Selamat Berpuasa' or 'Selamat Berbuka'. I can't stress enough how fake and so 'primary school' that sounds. When the time comes, don't bother wishing me Selamat Hari Raya with all your 'ku susun sepuluh jari tra la la bullcrap'. It feels so wrong asking for forgiveness just because it's Hari Raye. It can be done on any other normal day, why wait till Hari Raye? I'm cool with everyone, except for a handful who I will not forgive just yet, and I almost sure that everyone is cool with me.
I may be the most bitter but nice person you know.
Fenderson out... I'm screwed. The next poly intake will only be on April 2010. What happened to having 2 intakes in a year? Ain't there suppose to be one on this Sept/Oct?
It's not that I didn't apply during my NS period. I applied thrice and got rejected for all of it. Apparently I chose the wrong course and school. I opted for courses that strictly require a GPA 3 while I have a GPA 2.7. It was my bad on not reading the finelines.
I don't know what to do next. People would say go 'find some work' or 'take up a short course'. Guess they're right. What other choices do I have? I'm 22 and still hopeless.
If I'm gonna be rejected again for the April 2010 intake, I'm gonna kill myself.
Fenderson out... I got a new computer for my room and at this point of time I'm grateful to be a geek. Wireless keyboard and mouse, 32" LCD TV for monitor, connected to the internet wirelessly, view with HD display. The perfect rig that I always wanted. The cost are split between me and my brother and it's still expensive despite of absorbing 50% of the damage.
The perfect ORD present for myself.
With my NSF pay, I bought:
PSP
PS3 (cost split with my brother)
iPod Classic (160GB)
LG 32" LCD TV
Computer (cost split with my brother)
Moving out will be hell.
Thanks to Shakir for all your help and advice.
Fenderson out... Earlier today, we attended a study group conducted by Mr S at the National Library. I shall not reveal anything on what was discussed among the study group. Wouldn't wanna get any party in trouble.
The study group session make me question myself on my own identity. I'm a Malay. Both my parents are Malay. My maternal grandparents are Malay. My paternal grandparents are Javanese. I live in a Malay speaking family. I got a B4 for my O level Malay paper. I beri salam to my fellow Malay friends. I eat with my right hand, wipe my butt with my left. What I'm saying is, I'm still ethnically and culturally correct.
On the contrary, my iPod have not a single Malay song. Most of my send messages are texted in English. I don't watch Suria. I don't tune in to Warna or Ria. I wear baju kurung only on Hari Raya. I rather curse and swear in English. I have no idea who was Yasmin Ahmad. Last of all, I find people who are too Malay are weird. With all these said, the question I'm asking myself is; Does it make me less of a Malay?
Honestly, I don't care. Whatever that don't make me sound or look stupid, I'd go with it. Whatever that make communication go faster and smoother, I'd go with it. Whatever that is more entertaining and more engaging, I'd go with it. I don't feel in anyway this would affect my identity. It's the matter of preferences.
What important is, I'm not trying to be anyone. I don't dye my hair, get fancy phone, buy nice shoes just because everyone else is. My running, swimming, iPod, PS3 are all purely me.
That goes by the saying...
"Wanting To Be Someone Else Is A Waste Of The Person You Are" - Kurt Cobain
Also...
"Takkan Melayu Hilang Di Dunia" - Hang Tuah
And my favourite...
"If You Can't Convince Them, Confuse Them" - Harry S Truman
Hahaha...
Fenderson out...
Oh yeah! My turn came to collect back my pink IC and get my Service Status changed from NSF to NSman. But I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. My plan to start school after a month or two after ORD didn't work out and no, I don't wanna work just yet since I just got off from a hell hole.
My dad once said that ones character would either change for the better or worst after they have been through NS. I compared myself today and 2 years back and honestly don't see much different. I quit smoking after getting tonsillitis though. I wouldn't wanna wait for a cancer to make me quit, so yeah, figured that's the best time stop.
2 years passed in a blink. What changed? I wish I can count what changed while I'm in camp.
All the past aside. So what's am I doing now? Nothing much. I do still wanna pursue my diploma but have to wait till the next intake. So meanwhile, I plan to work out and carry on with my 2B license lessons.
This was received on the 24/06/2009 at 1405hrs.
'hmmmmm... i will say tat if u like her, u shudnt gv up.for now just give it some time. Maybe shes not ready to be committed. Tats why shes taking a stepback'
Forever in debt to your priceless advice.
Fenderson out... Spend a good half an hour glimpsing through some of my previous entry. Couldn't help but fell sad. Sad on how people change and move on without looking back. Sad to know things wouldn't ever be the same again. Sad to know that I was actually happier 3 - 4 years back then today.
Where did all the simplicity gone to?
Fenderson out I was about to write an entry a couple of days earlier before ORD but then decide to change my page template instead and do some cleaning up on the unneccessary stuff.
An hour later, the new blog page is up and I got tired from editing it.
I'll leave the proper blog entry for another day.
Fenderson Out...
13 January 1987
Capricorn
Rock & Electronic
Class 3
Working On Class 2B
Higher Nitec in Wireless Technology